Hump Day Humor

ACTUAL AUSTRALIAN COURT DOCKET 12659 ---A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When, on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.
The case came up in court.The judge asked the man (about 20 years old)what he had to say for himself. The man replied, 'Well your Honor, it was like this: when the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat down under a sign that said, 'The Double Mint Twins are coming' and I grinned. Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, 'Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling,' and I had to smile. Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, 'William's Big Stick Did the Trick,' and I could hardly contain myself. But, Your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, 'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident!'... I just lost it. '' CASE DISMISSED '

Brutal Honesty and a Bit of Bravery

As this chapter as a pregnant woman is coming to an end I thought I'd write down in one LONG post the events and statistics of my pregnancy so far.

And here's where the bravery comes in...Here's my first and ONLY bare belly picture.

I'm currently 38 weeks pregnant, 14 days left until my due date on December 27 and 16 days until my scheduled induction on December 29!

• When did we find out I was pregnant: April 16, 2009 at 3 weeks 2 days pregnant. I was supposed to wait until the 22nd to test which was mine and Matt's 3 year anniversary but I was too impatient!
• How long before we got pregnant: After 2 1/2 years of not trying but not really preventing and then 7 long months of infertility testing and treatments and medicines, finally, pregnant!
• How I told Matt: He LOVES birthday cake and since he'd already left for the day and I didn't want to tell him over the phone, I went out and got a birthday cake that said "Congratulations, you're going to be a father" And surprised him with it when he got home from work.
• How we told our parents: We got baby frames and put on them "Congratulations Grandma and Grandpa!" and just mailed them to them without any warning!
• Weight gained to date: 7 pounds
• Waist measurement :41 1/2 inches
• Any Contractions? 2 hours worth last weekend and an occasional one here and there since then but have had loads of Braxton Hicks for a month or so
  Any Stretch Marks? Some small ones on my hips and thighs but so far none on my belly (I've heard the belly ones can come after giving birth so I'll wait for those)
• Belly Button: Amazingly still an ever so slight innie!
• Best part of pregnancy: Feeling Hendrix move! He has a party in my belly several times a day and it's so cool!
• Worst part of pregnancy: PAIN! Constant, excruciating, torturous pain! Back, hip, belly, rib, you name it, it hurts.
• Complications: Morning sickness which caused me to take Zofran that went from weeks 4-13 and reappeared at week 34 and seems to be here to stay. Heart palpitations at 18 weeks, was monitored and thankfully no further action was needed. Sciatica pain that started at 14 weeks and landed me in physical therapy 3 times a week for a few months. Gestational Diabetes at 28 weeks. Thankfully through it all, Hendrix has been healthy as can be and it's just my body that's been having issues!
• Nesting: I think it kicked in around 22 weeks and hasn't stopped since. Thus the nursery has been done since 24 weeks, I've already hand made all my birth announcements (just have to add a picture and the birth specifics) all baby clothes, bottles, blankets and accessories are washed and organized, I could go on and on!
• Favorite Ultrasound: Even though I was way excited for the gender ultrasound, I think my favorite one was the NT scan at 12 weeks. It's when Hendrix started to already show his little personality and was being stubborn. He had his back to us, wouldn't turn around and proceeded to shake his little hiney at us repeatedly as if to say "Neener Neener!"
• The Name Game: Hendrix actually came to me in a dream, loved the name ever since!
• Some of the most surprising things about pregnancy: 1) I never realized the pregnant woman waddle wasn't caused by weight or size but by the actual pain of it all. 2) I've become a huge whiner! I always thought I had a high tolerance to pain but when it's for months on end, my patience wears out and I turn into a whine monster! 3) I've always had terrible body image issues and I worried how a big pregnant belly would mess with my head. I surprised myself with this one, I absolutely love rockin' the pregnant belly! 4) I've got a case of labor vanity! My latest obsession is that I don't want our first "family" photo to be of Matt, Hendrix and I with me looking like I've just been run over by a bus! So if at all possible, before I start pushing, I intend to make sure my hair and makeup are in place so that after all that hard work and pushing, I'll hopefully still look semi decent! :)

I love ultrasounds!

One good thing about having a high risk pregnancy is that I get SO many ultrasounds! The ultrasound tech at my doctor's office (Nancy) is awesome and LOVES me! She was the same tech that monitored me as I was going through infertility treatments and she's so excited that I'm pregnant. I've been going in for weekly ultrasounds for over a month now and every time Nancy sends me away with at least 3 or 4 pictures. I probably already have more than 3 dozen little black and white "photos" of Hendrix.

Yesterday I had a growth ultrasound to see how big he is now. He's just barely measuring ahead-38 weeks 1 day and he's estimated to be 7 pounds 6 ounces right now. He's still got a few weeks of growing before he receives his eviction notice so we'll see if he comes out a little chunk!

I also had my weekly OB appointment yesterday. When she checked me, things are starting to progress-I'll leave it at that and won't go into gory details! :) I had some contractions over the weekend so hopefully maybe this weekend will bring more progress. I'm starting to get nervous. As silly as this sounds, I wonder if I'm ready for this. I know I don't have much of a choice but it's pretty daunting to think about the fact that I'm going to be responsible for the health and well being of a completely helpless little man in just a few weeks! I'm going to pack my hospital bag this weekend so we'll be ready to go.

Eyeshadow does not belong between your boobs!

When I got home from work today I really needed to unwind with a bubble bath. While I was in the bath, I noticed a large bruise at the top of my belly right about where my ribs meet. I couldn’t figure out where that came from and I was a bit concerned about it. I tried rubbing at it to see if it hurt and it didn’t. After a few minutes of worrying about it I decided to try some soap and water-sure enough, it came right off! Turns out when I was doing my makeup this morning I somehow managed to drop some eyeshadow right between my boobs and I use Bare Minerals eyeshadow so it doesn’t come off really easily!

LOL Note to self, if it looks like a random bruise, try to wash it off first!

There should be a pregnant women olympics

Events would include:

Putting on socks
Walking without waddling
Painting your toe nails
Midnight potty runs
Seeing your feet
Swelling comparrison
Getting off the couch
How many times you can pee
Picking up things off the floor
Rolling over in bed
Snoring Volume

Hee Hee!

37 weeks! I'm officially full term today!

I can't believe this has gone so fast! I've only got 24 days left at the most, if Hendrix hasn't come by then I'll be induced.
I wish I'd started taking pictures sooner so I had a more accurate before and after but here's my 18 week bump and my 37 weeks bump from today.

So I guess my house is too cold...

This morning I loaded the dish washer and tried to put dish detergent in it but I couldn't because it was FROZEN!!! We don't turn our heat on a lot becuse we kind of like the cold but I guess we got a little carried away since it was cold enough to freeze a full bottle of dish detergent completely solid! LOL
I guess a lot of things are going to have to change when Hendrix comes because we can't have him freezing to death!